Grandma

I just wanted to take a moment to say how much I will miss my Grandma. We didn't get to see each other a whole lot since we were so far apart but she is very special to me. I am very thankful that Tyler and I got to see her last Thanksgiving in Mt. Airy. 

Every time Dad would call to let me know that latest on her condition, I just didn't believe it. I was in complete denial just always telling myself that she was going to come out of it. Even towards the end. And then when I found out that Grandma had passed away, I couldn't believe it. It didn't seem real. It hit me pretty hard when we all got together in Maine for her wake and funeral. It really was great to see all of the family (except Kimberly - wish you could have been there), but it was also really sad. And for Kyle, Tyler and me, it wasn't just about Grandma passing. It brought back all of the memories of our mom passing 5 years ago. A lot of things get easier with experience but I think losing someone actually gets harder every time because each time it reminds you of all the losses that came before it. And even though you know they've gone on to a better place, you can't help but feel selfish and want them back. 

Being in Maine and seeing Grandma and Grandpa's house for the first time in about 6 years was wonderful and awful at the same time. Wonderful b/c I have so many great memories there and I have always loved going there. Awful b/c there is something missing now. It was really sad to see her room where she painted knowing that she wouldn't be painting any more.

 I don't want t his to be too depressing so I'll wrap it up now but man, it hurts.